I have much to be thankful for ... more than words can adequately express! Yet, 2013 has been a year of lessons about releasing any remnants of the program which had me judging myself through the eyes of others. Somewhere along the way this year I heard and truly integrated "what others think about you is truly not your business". In stepping into everything that I AM being called to be, I am grateful for the loving support I have received. Yet, I've faced rejection by not only casual acquaintances, but also from long-term friends and life-long family members. These reactions have not only hurt my feelings, they have also sometimes cast me onto a sea of self-doubt. However, I've also witnessed life-changing moments for myself and others; not through having my "nose to the grindstone" and struggling, but by just being ME ... basically surrendering, squelching the INTERNAL voice telling me I couldn't do this or that, and allowing God to flow through my physical vessel unimpeded.
In the last few days I've been reflecting what I have gained through experiencing negative reactions to my "healing gift" by some of those I thought were "closest" to me:
Do not see yourself through the eyes of others who might want you to be small [i.e., feel more comfortable with your being small, so they feel comfortable beside you in their box] . Look at yourself with "new eyes", enjoying the remarkable things you (and your body) do each and every moment, mostly without a conscious thought. As an aside to this, do not focus on every imperfection of your physical vessel; because I guarantee you, others probably don't even see them UNLESS they are your focus.
Look beyond all that to the amazing potential you have. You can be anything, do anything. Aim HIGH! Explore what types of activities and interactions fulfill your soul and, if that is your focus, you cannot help but draw those experiences to your life. Think of what you did as a child. What made "time stand still"? Leave the specifics of jobs, locations, people fairly loose and God/The Universe will orchestrate an incredible series of events you could never dream of yourself. Importantly, however, act upon your intuition!
Realize that some relationships that were great in the past, might not serve you in the present and future. Do not beat yourself up trying to recreate and/or maintain those relationship in the now, especially if you are the only one putting in that effort. Look at what might be better serving your time and energy. Nurture the relationships that DO support who you not only are now but whom you are working toward BEing.
As you change your perspective of SELF, your experiences, surroundings, support teams, etc. will change as well. I know that we are each amazing aspects of All That Is, living a life in physicality so that we can experience as much of life as is physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally possible. Aim high for 2014! When you get cast upon the sea of self-doubt, be the LIGHT only you can be.
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