Today I've finally achieved both mental and emotional clarity/peace on the situation.In pondering the situation yet again this morning, I had a flash of insight as I remembered my own experience/perspective of being with a dear friend and no longer feeling joy in that relationship. The parting of ways was not about her; it was about me and what I needed to do with my time, which I was increasingly learning to value. I really couldn't explain the breakup to her. There were so many layers and levels to the situation.
So in looking at a Silent Breakup from the other side of not knowing what happened, I realize the reason for our drifting apart has no value ~ the time we spent together does! I understand that she may have not wanted to hurt me, by telling me she was no longer getting joy in being with me. Perhaps she could not even put a finger on nor articulate the reason(s).
I don't need to know the reason, because it is HER reason, her path; the most loving thing I can do is to love on. Let her go to find what she needs. It was just the time for each of us to move forward to the next step on our individual spiral staircases. As I have taken my step, albeit seemingly not by choice, other people who were playing less of a role in my life have stepped up to that next stair step with me. New relationships have been formed. New aspects to life have unfolded for me.
In a parallel way, I am also learning that living in the NOW also means not holding onto relationships which NOW only exist in the past; working so hard BY MYSELF to keep that relationship intact...trying to recapture the relationship which now exists only in my memory. Realizing, finally, that if I am the only one working on the relationship, it is really not a relationship. This has been a tough lesson for me, but very necessary nonetheless.
Trust, faith, acceptance. I think there are so many situations in life in which these vantage points can help us adapt to changes that we may not initially welcome. Know that all is well and right and that what you need IS COMING. Every fork in the road, even the ones which appear to be forced upon you, bring you closer to the person you are becoming...the person you want to be. Change is not only good, it is what you and I are ultimately here for.
When the time comes, whether the choice is yours or not, put on your best shoes, and take that next step up the staircase. You will find someone either waiting there for you, or stepping up at the very same moment you arrive in that space/time.
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