Healing ResonanceHealing Resonance

with kristi borst

... release that which no longer serves you!


Much of what seems so real in this physical dimension is not the entire truth of who we are and/or what we can do. Over the last couple of years, I have allowed myself to both explore and expand beyond the physical, mental and emotional boundaries I thought were rigidly in place in this world. What I found was an aspect of self that I never knew was there nor believed could be possible. I offer these wonderings and wanderings as an invitation to see beyond what meets the eyes in your own life!

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Six Things I Learned by Joining a Community Chorus

self mastery, finding your bliss, joining a group
When I was regularly attending church, singing was a huge part of what fed me in that experience. I missed singing with others, so this winter I looked for options in my area. I found a 10-week session with a community chorus within a 30-minute commute from my home. This offering appealed to me because of the short-term commitment and the song selection, which I found both uplifting and non-denominational.

During those 10 weeks, I learned quite a bit about myself and gained deeper understanding of the ways I choose to walk through this world, particularly in a group situation. My hope is the sharing of my observations will help you open a doorway within yourself that leads you to more joy and Self Mastery.

1. When We Always Focus on the Same Things, We Stop Seeing ~ I tend to wear brown over black because of my skin, eye and hair coloring. I had to purchase a black shirt for our concert. I've long held the opinion that I don't look good in black. I wore the top again yesterday with some multicolored, crazy-pattered leggings I own. Black was a nice balance for the loud colors I was wearing elsewhere on my body and the overall look was "slimming". I realize I am not any slimmer in black than I am in brown, but I think the darker tones allowed me to see my body as smaller.

I would not have tried on a black top were it not for this concert "uniform" request. While we should definitely focus on the colors that we feel good selecting, every now and then, it's important to try on some of the things we've avoided. Doing so might offer you a glimpse of yourself and your incredible body from an entirely different perspective.

2. Groups Don't Naturally Seek to Assimilate New Members ~ The first night of practice people gravitated to one another. A couple of months had passed since the prior session. People were reconnecting established ties.

One person invited me to sit with her on the first night at practice. I thanked her for reaching out. "I remember what it was like coming here on my first night," she said, "so I try to say 'hi' to new people." Throughout the 10 weeks we spoke each week. She was working through some unsettling events in her personal life, and I was happy to be there to listen and support her, even in a small way.

We can never know the impact that speaking to one person can have on our lives. Others can hold and offer key aspects in our understanding of the overall Plan, so be a seeker ... always making new connections which are as easy as a "Hi. How are you?" and waiting to hear the response. It's likely not personal if no one approaches you. If you want to make connections, connect!

3. We Are Not All Inconspicuous By Design ~ Although I tend to naturally harmonize with others when I sing, on many levels I choose not to blend in. I think it's part of my soul signature. When integrating with a group, I rarely claim a space. I take a different seat each time. I say "hi" to everyone near me. I want to experience many people. I talk to someone new each week.

Ultimately, there's a part of me hoping to make deeper level connections. I have definitely learned not to wait to be invited in and to move forward when I want to join smaller groupings. In the past it bothered me if I wasn't asked to join one or more smaller groups within the whole. I lacked the higher perspective to see that my own ways of interacting, of not conforming and of not choosing a predictable position within the group were both my blessing and my burden. Our actions definitely affect our experiences. We do have to see ourselves and not always just everyone else.

4. We Can Let Go of People Pleasing by Shifting the Target ~ There are some people, and I believe I AM one, who want everyone to be happy. Yet we need to recognize ourselves as part of that audience. Too many times throughout my life I've let the words or deeds of others, and/or my perception of life's experiences  claim my happiness. Ultimately the only one I can make happy is myself.

Through this engagement I was asked to take a leadership role. After the concert I was complimented to my face; two days later received an email from criticizing my not following a specific protocol which was not communicated to me in advance. This secondary email would have been experienced as a long-term slap of rejection in my past way of being, but I chose to shake it off very quickly.

I connected within myself to a space of compassion for that person's perspective. I chose not to respond. I chose not to disagree. We can rarely show someone else something they are not currently seeing on their own. In much of our inter-relationships, people push their pain outward. It's our choice whether or not we want to absorb it. This release and re-focus was a conscious process for me  ... part of my relearning how to Be which I share with others. It gets easier and less cumbersome with practice.

How can you employ this? What's one thing someone has said to you, perhaps not to your face, but in an email or on social media that's left you feeling sad, sorry, angry, hurt, etc.? Claim whatever responsibility you have for that reaction and let the rest go. Send them forgiveness and shake it off ... like a wet dog drying her fur! It's healing to find just one thing each day that moves you more firmly plant yourself in happy.

5. We Are Loved and Supported ~ I am blessed to have one of our young-adult daughters living with my husband and me right now. Our other daughter came for the performance from out-of-state. Two friends each drove about an hour to attend the concert. Having them encouraging me through my practice, seeing them in the audience, hearing their feedback after, and having their support when I received "that email" ... these are all key aspects of the joy I'll carry forward. My family through birth and life's path are there for me. Sometimes I just have to ask. When we ask the answer is likely "yes". When we don't ask, the answer is always "no".

Focus on the people who are there for you. If there is someone you'd like to have play a greater role in your life, draw them in. Ask to engage. They may be waiting for that outstretched hand. Create your life family, and don't take it personally when others choose not to engage. Keep seeking and nurture those ties which are already there. Be loving to yourself by reaching out and asking/seeking what you need.

6. We Choose What You Hold On To ~ This is not a new insight for me. I have a separate blog here focusing on this topic ("No Time, No Room, No Need for the Pain"). I believe it bears repeating! I look back on the experience and I am grateful for a number of things that happened during those 10 weeks. Points 1 to 5 above have offered me additional views of myself that were not at the forefront of my vision previously. I'll note, too, there are other blessings from my choice to join this community chorus which haven't made their way to print ... beautiful sunsets, chance encounters on errands prior to practice ...

True, my heart was hurt on occasion, but what a shame if that's the walk-away. As an empath and emotional healer, I took on and owned a lot of personal pain and rejection when I was younger. I now see this as a choice. I am no longer choosing to live in that space. I have learned to heal those hurt feelings VERY quickly. Sometimes I do not even experience them; I recognize the set-up situation and choose not to experience them in a personal way.

I got to sing, not only at group practice but on my own throughout the weeks. I learned new ways to control my voice, to enunciate, to unify my voice with others'. I vibrated with words and notes of joy, love and peace. I helped create beautiful music with others. I brought my light to that space and felt the light of others. I witnessed bravery, growth and compassion.

Why would I hold onto the hurt feelings? Were you raised not realizing we have a choice? The choice is both empowering and our birth right ... free will! What is one thing you've experienced and now only remember the hurt feelings or denser energies from? Reassess and focus your remembering on the times of joy and love and laughter. Doing so is the ultimate in people pleasing past-present-future with your own peace and well-being on center stage!

Fortunately, you get to taste bitter, sour, salty and sweet. Only you can decide which you seek out and favor. I am sure I will continue to be put myself into and flow through the group experience. I am always open to experiencing new people, new situations, new opportunities for self expression and self expansion. It's a given that sometimes I will find myself on the outskirts looking in. That is just an aspect of living "outside the box", the ultimate space of growth, expansion and Self Mastery for us all.


LIKE Healing Resonance on Facebook
subscribe to @HealingResonanc on twitter
join my mailing list with new opt-in-gift

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

If Your Go-To Reaction Is "I Can't" or "I Have Never Been Able To", Where is The Space for Potential?

About eight months ago, I sought out and scheduled some self care ... a 1.5 to 2 hour session with a woman who offers "guidance toward greater soul mastery". This type of guidance (I like to call it providing a "soul window") is an integral part of what I offer others in healing sessions, but answers were not coming clearly to me for me.

I hoped to get insights about how my gifts and healing offerings could be better communicated. I felt I was swimming against the current, offering something life-changing yet which seemed invisible to many who seemed solely focused on drugs and invasive techniques. I was also processing my own sadness and feelings of rejection in the face of coming forward with my abilities. I was seeking support, guidance and understanding.

At the start of the session, she asked me to tell her about myself and my life. I told her about my spiritual "awakening" which led to reconnection with my Higher Self, Oneness, and my inner abilities to help others heal ... mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. As an aside, I mentioned that I had a lot of tension and pain in my shoulders. "This is one area that I cannot seem to heal within myself," I stated.

She abruptly interrupted me and said "I know what your sessions is about.